“Sometimes I want to see beyond all this haze; sometimes I wish I'd never cared enough to open up my eyes.”
These are the opening lyrics to Luna sin Moonlight. I wrote the words as a young college student trying to find my place in the world. They expressed a longing to return to innocence without descending further into ignorance. For years, I struggled with whether or not to record the song. I felt like the lyrics expressed a more cynical view of innocence than I would have liked them to. At the same time, I didn't feel like I could change the lyrics without discounting the real and raw emotions I was feeling when I put pen to paper.
In 2009, a couple of years after writing the song, my son Noah was born. His birth restored in me a sense of wonder and amazement in the world that had long been missing and helped me to appreciate the beauty of pure hope, pure faith, and pure innocence.
These childlike emotions are encapsulated in the music box -the child's toy- heard throughout the song. They are woven together with the very real emotions of confusion, doubt, and disbelief. In order for the song to be complete (and as part of a creative quest for honesty) all those emotions needed to occupy the same space.
As I watch my little Noah grow up, the song has begun to take on new meaning. I realize that his own beautiful state of innocence will soon pass. The frightening and wonderful process of discovery awaits him, just as it awaits us all.
Wherever you are in your own path of discovery, I invite you to read the lyrics to this song carefully. I then invite you to listen. The instruments are admittedly unconventional and it may take a few listens, but I think you'll find it worth the effort.